常州环球教育来揭秘 雅思写作“七宗罪”

　　有同学说如今雅思写作上6分，难于上青天。

　　常州环球雅思的Sean老师说那些万年5.5分的同学其实一点也不冤。下面来细数各宗“罪状”。

　　1.审题不清

　　雅思写作好比数学考试的 后两道大题，而且每题只有一问。审题错误必死无疑。

　　E.g.: In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

　　以下论点中有一个是跑题的：

　　A. The reliance on pre-prepared food has an adverse effect on family relationships, as people do not participate in family meals as frequently as before.

　　B. People’s neglecting of their traditional food will cause the lose of cultural identity in the whole society.

　　C. International fast food, which is salty and oily and contains high calorie, is harmful to people’s fitness compared with the healthy traditional food.

　　[答 案：C. 题干中只提到对于家庭和社会的影响，写健康方面的论点属于偏题]

　　2.层次不明

　　有些同学在写作时看似分段/层了，实际则是“混为一谈”。

　　E.g. In many countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. Why? What measures could be taken to solve them?

　　原因段：

　　原因1: unbalanced diet

　　原因2: the lack of exercise

　　原因段看似写了两个不同的原因，实际区分不大，都属于内因(主观原因)，升入下去写，内容会有相似。应把这两个原因合二为一，再写一个外因：pressure from work.

　　3.中式逻辑

　　中西方有巨大的思维差异，在写议论类文章时体现明显。而中国同学大多会按中式逻辑写作。

　　中式逻辑：Tax paid by the public provides the government with enough financial resource to invest in the construction of infrastructure like railway systems, high way networks, and schools. As a result, people could live a better life.

　　我们交税➡政府有钱➡可以投资一些公共设施，如学校，铁路公路➡人民生活更好

　　西方逻辑：The public paying tax could improve their living standard. With enough financial resource from tax revenue, the government could invest in the construction of infrastructure like railway systems, high way networks, and schools.

　　论点：我们交税➡人民生活更好

　　解释：政府有钱➡可以投资一些公共设施，如学校，铁路公路

　　4.逻辑跳跃

　　中国人说话讲究点到为止，而西方人则会把意思说透彻。

　　With teachers’ tutorial in class, students could get good results in exams.

　　学生有老师的指导➡取得好成绩，逻辑跳跃了

　　改：With teachers’ tutorial in class, students could get solve their problems in learning without delay, which may help them perform better in exams.

　　学生有老师的指导➡问题得到及时解决➡有助于取得好成绩

　　5.举例失当

　　举例子是中国学生喜欢用的论证方法，但大多数都举的是失败的例子，主要原因是“不具体”。

　　For example, Chinese government has spent a lot of money in building art galleries, which enriches people’s spare-time life.

　　将划线部分的表达具体化后：For example, in the developed areas of China, the local government has spent huge sum of money in building public art galleries where citizens could appreciate many kinds of Chinese and western artworks, like calligraphies, oil paintings, and sculptures. It provides people with a good opportunity to spend some quality time with their families at weekend.

　　6.驳论瞎写

　　对于让步段/驳论段，很多同学不能理解其正真的意义，此段能够展示学生的辩证思维能力，写得好会给文章增色不少，而胡乱瞎写，则会造成全篇立场混乱。

　　在以往的推文中，提供了不少让步段/驳论段的写作思路和例文，同学们可以自己查找学习。

　　7.低级语病

　　语法错误，尤其是低级语法错误，一直是阻碍中国同学拿6分以上的拦路虎。而低级语法错误中“不一致”的错误占一多半。

　　主谓不一致：The results of space research has (have)also increased our knowledge about our planet.

　　There are many websites that helps (help) children with math.

　　指代不一致：The government should make sure that private companies understand its (their) responsibilities for protecting the environment.

　　以上罪状你犯了几条?

　　快来常州环球雅思，让Sean老师赐你锦囊妙计!

　　摆脱雅思写作“七宗罪”

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