广州智美教育

Writing skills	Level (18)	Performance
Writing based on Reading and Listening	Limited (1-2)	1. 不能理解阅读和讲座的内容 2. 讲座内容与听力内容的衔接缺失 3. 很多语法错句，表达不清晰，句子结构混乱

阅读观点	阅读要点1	阅读要点2	阅读要点3	听力细节
段尾句	段	段	段	听力总结： 1. 听力细节1 2. 听力细节2 3. 听力细节3

Writing Skills	Level (22)	performance
Writing based on Reading and Listening	Fair (2.5-3.5）	1. 回答了任务 2. 重要的ideas缺失，不清晰或不准确 3. 讲座与阅读部分环节，不清晰它们的相关性 4. 有语法错误，或因单词的不正确使用导致难以理解

 
很显然，在听力细节点上，这个考生做得好些。但是出现一个新的问题：讲座与阅读部分环节，不清晰它们的相关性。那么，怎样理解考官这样的评价呢？朗阁海外考试研究中心的以TPO2的“团队精神”来举个例子。阅读原文是这么说的：Also, because of the numbers of people involved and the greater resources they possessed, a group can work more quickly in response to the task. 而有可能学生却把下面的这个听力内容与这个阅读内容相匹配：Now I want to tell you about what one company found when it decided that it would turn over some of its new projects to teams of people. 仔细研读一下，它们之间根本不相关：一个讲求的是速度；而另一个讲的是个人在团队中的影响。
 
C: 再举个综合写作25分的分数报告：

Writing Skills	Level (25)	Performance
Writing based on Listening and Reading	Good (4.0-5.0)	1. 回应任务非常好，能够与讲座相关 2. 在主要点的总结上有些许的不 3. 偶尔的语法不地道或表达的不清晰

 
我们可以清晰地看到，这个考生无论在听力细节或是阅读内容与听力的相关性都做得很好，但是这三个分析报告都在不同程度谈到了语法方面的问题。考生们应如何应对呢？其实这个问题很容易解决，在书写过程中请考生们多多使用原因状语从句即可：听力所驳斥的是源于阅读内容的点。给考生们些常常使用的连接词：because / in that / since / as / given that / because of / due to / owing to / on account of / for the sake of...
 
三、如何提高和改善托福写作
朗阁海外考试研究中心的分别列出了提高和改善上述三类综合写作分数的方法：
18分：举出足够的例子
22分：细节要详细陈述
25分：更详细地总结主要点
考生们可能看到这样的解释不理解，下面我就举个例子做个对比。两个例子的中心都是在谈论：In an effort to ensure children’s development, play should be encouraged.
 
学生书写（一）
…Children improve themselves not only through reading books, but also playing, which even appears to be more effective. For instance, to study how a clock works, it is definitely more interesting and straightforward to take a clock apart than learning theories. Besides, skills and abilities, such as creativity and leadership, which are of great value in children’s future, can be developed through playing. Children are willing to think over how they use materials available to have fun. Play lets their imagination run away. 考生们，你们读后能够找到下划线句子的具体例子是如何通过play来实现的吗？回答：No。
 
学生书写（二）
... Typical reason is that play involves to build muscles. In terms of kicking shuttlecock, it is beneficial to exercise the muscle of ankle and shank. Similarly, climbing is another good choice. In an attempt to climb the top of the tree, young kids have to stretch their limbs. Not only is more of the muscles involved in play, but it also seems to activate higher cognitive process, for play often involves complex assessments of playmates, ideas of reciprocity and the uses of specialized signals and rules. One case in point is family-role-play, which is advantageous for the formation of love and responsibilities. Evident benefits can be expected to see in children’s growth. 大家仔细研读一下就可以发现，本段针对play (kick shuttlecock and climbing, family-role-play) 是一一从两个不同方面 (muscles and cognitive process) 具体展开论证的。
 
备考前多多分析一下过来人的分数报告，能让考生们自己少走弯路并得到满意的托福分数。
 

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