Why Do You Always Wear Headphones?

I span>own span>three span>pairs span>of span>noise-canceling span>headphones. span>Two span>go span>over span>my span>ears, span>enveloping span>them span>in span>cozy span>tombs span>of span>silence. span>One span>pair span>consists span>of span>earbuds, span>one span>of span>which span>I span>jam span>into span>my span>ear span>to span>block span>out span>the span>world span>while span>I span>use span>my span>other span>ear span>for span>phone span>interviews. span>span>

Besides span>the span>noise-canceling span>kind, span>I span>have span>headphones span>for span>basically span>every span>activity span>I span>do. span>In span>fact, span>I span>recently span>came span>to span>the span>disturbing span>realization span>that span>there’s span>rarely span>a span>moment span>of span>my span>day span>when span>my span>ears span>are span>not span>filled span>with span>or span>covered span>by span>something. span>span>

Like span>many span>other span>Americans, span>I span>now span>wear span>AirPods span>all span>day span>at span>my span>desk span>to span>combat span>the span>awful span>tyranny span>of span>the span>open span>office. span>Since span>they span>don’t span>cancel span>noise, span>they span>provide span>me span>with span>writing span>music span>while span>allowing span>me span>to span>listen span>up span>for span>my span>bosses. span>I span>don’t span>like span>exercise span>classes span>and span>their span>preselected, span>generic span>playlists, span>so span>instead span>I span>work span>out span>with span>headphones span>and span>listen span>to span>my span>own span>special span>running span>mix, span>the span>contents span>of span>which span>can span>be span>disclosed span>only span>upon span>my span>death. span>span>

Right span>now span>I’m span>sitting span>in span>an span>airport. span>Three span>bearded span>men span>are span>chuckling span>next span>to span>me, span>and span>they span>look span>like span>a span>buddy span>comedy span>with span>the span>sound span>muted. span>It’s span>delicious. span>I’ve span>become span>one span>of span>those span>people span>who span>stalk span>tech-review span>sites span>for span>the span>“best” span>noise-canceling span>technology—extra span>points span>go span>to span>headphones span>that span>are span>good span>for span>“all-day span>wear.” span>span>

The span>noise-canceling span>headphones span>are span>sometimes span>necessary span>for span>work, span>but span>they span>are span>also span>necessary span>because span>I span>live span>in span>a span>one-bedroom span>apartment span>with span>two span>cellos. span>My span>boyfriend, span>the span>cello span>owner, span>makes span>little span>noises span>while span>he span>putters span>around, span>which span>distracts span>me span>from span>reading span>my span>20,000-word span>long-form span>articles. span>span>

Our span>apartment span>was span>one span>of span>the span>cheapest span>in span>the span>building span>because span>we span>have span>a span>direct, span>unobstructed span>view span>of span>the span>garbage-truck span>entrance. span>On span>top span>of span>the span>clamor span>of span>trash span>collection, span>we span>have span>lately span>also span>been span>subjected span>to span>some span>sort span>of span>predawn span>construction span>project span>that span>involves span>smashing span>two span>large, span>metal span>blocks span>together span>repeatedly. span>span>

Because span>of span>

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