如果大家的托福写作分数在20分左右或者更低,或者你的水平比这个更高,但还是想要提升自己的分数的话一起和托福南京市培训来看看本文吧!
1.你知道评分标准结构吗?
评分标准包括文章结构、论证和语言。其中结构部分又有三个具体的要求是:切题、渐进和连贯;论证的要求是逻辑性和具体性;语言的要求是准确和多样。
结构:你的理由跑题嘛?有重叠嘛?每个理由自己能展开成一百多字数的一段话嘛?
论证:你的展开过程逻辑清楚吗?有废话吗?有跳跃吗?有细节吗?有说服力吗?
语言:你语法错误多吗?你的句式有变化吗?
2.你知道18分左右的作文吗?
理论上跟据上面的评分标准大家差不多就可以猜出自己的分数了,但是为了让大家对自己的水平认识的更清楚,咱可以看一个18分的作文,这种方式可能更加直观一些。
题目:
it is often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new country because of the lose of old social connection.
本题实际上是隐藏词的题目,下面的作文立场是同意的。
个理由:新人民是多样的(这句话并没有写完)
firstly, the diversity of people in the new country. because it is made up of people of different races, religions, abilities ,and interests. it is very interesting during the process of socializing with all sorts of people. there are people from different regions in my block,too. i communicate with them, and i make friends with people from different places,and i can learn the distinct culture of other places.
第二个理由:人们可以学到新的的文化
secondly, people will be able to learn the culture of a new country, which will broaden ones horizon. take shanghai as an example, there are many distinctive and delicious food in this city, and there are many famous places, like oriental pearl tv tower, yu garden, the bund, etc. it is just so attracting to me to go to a new town or a new country, to communicate with the local people, to have a deeper understanding of the culture and custom there.
第三个理由:应该想写的是可以加强两地之间的关系,但是主题句理解起来比较困难。
thirdly, moving to a new town or a new country can help to stress the looseness of old social connection. one can bring their own distinct culture to the new place, and can also study the culture there. during the process of this interaction, it will tighten the relationship between the two places.
下面我们从评分标准的三个方面分别来看一下:
结构:理由上前两个其实非常类似,第三个没有表达清楚,而且跟前两个的意思关系并不是很大,有点小跳跃。
论证:展开过程中三个段落重合度较高,都涉及到了文化的事儿,而且段落扩展部分逻辑性并不是很好,也不太有说服力;比如个理由的展开提到跟不同的人交流很有趣,紧接着用两句话说了一个例子,显得比较仓促,缺乏相关细节;
语言:整体感觉写得比较随意,会存在主题句不完整、句子连结不当、动词使用不合理等错误。
3.你知道25分的作文吗?
题目:
do you agree or disagree with the following statement? teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform.
本题也是一个隐藏词的题目,这种题目考查频率还是很高的,这个同学用的也是一边倒的结构提出了两个反对题目中的说法的理由。
个理由:很难判断啥样的学生叫表现好的学生;
first, it is difficult to find objective and comprehensive standards to evaluate how well a student performs. teachers have the responsibilities to not only teach knowledge, but also teach students to be good citizens. it is difficult to judge how well a student performs on knowledge and morals. those who have high education level but low moral level cannot be determined as students who perform well. schools may choose measurable criteria like grades. if a school uses tests to examine how well students perform and ignore how well the students perform outside the textbooks, it may be biased to those teachers who only concern about study instead of extra curriculum and community works. those teachers are paid with higher salary, which is not fair to those teachers who pay attention to educate students with different kinds of skills and abilities. in long term, teachers who formerly focused on improving students’ all kinds of abilities may limit their expectation to good grades instead of leadership, independence, integris, and they do not have abundant skills and abilities to make a living when they grty etc. as a result, the students can be educated to test robots but not good citizenaduate. therefore, merit pay results in possible ignorance of cultivating students’ virtues and moral merits that are equally important to ensuring students a promising future.
第二个理由:薪酬不同可能导致老师和学生两极分化;
in addition, different payments may cause polarization of teachers and even of students.teachers who got higher salary previously could be motivated and will work harder in the future, but those who earned less salary might be depressed. as a consequence, the students of different teachers are affected. some students who have motivated teachers will have better performances; instead, other students tend to have worse results. teachers may even blame their students if the teacher gets less payment, which causes the negative attitudes of students, so their grades may decline. moreover, the fierce competitions may push some teachers to immorality. some teachers who want more money can also degenerate into dishonest and unfair means to improve students’ grades, which is definitely unacceptable for a good education. different payments are supposed to improve and edify students, but they may be counterproductive, which is bound to exert detrimental impact on students, especially those who are still in the forming stage for positive values.
其实一看作文字数和主题句差不多就知道这个考生基础应该是不错的;
结构:两个理由并没有重复,分别从学生和老师的角度证明自己的立场。
论证:展开的时候逻辑性还是比较强的 (如果能在加一些连接词就更好了),比如个理由:老师应该同时抓知识和人格培养,那些只关注知识的学生不能被认为是好学生,毕竟学校最终的目标是培养合格的公民而不是考试的机器。接下来从反面说:如果学校把成绩作为衡量学生好坏的标准对那些关注学生发展的老师是不公平的,甚至会导致他们也慢慢的失去关注学生提高的动力。
语言:虽然这个文章也有少数错误,而且有些地方感觉并不是很地道,但是读起来还是非常流畅的,并不影响读者对文章的理解;
至此,肯定有人会问了:
想从20左右考到25分需要咋练呢?
这个问题咱还是得针对评分标准来说:
结构:必须提高审题速度,从看题到确定立场、理由、甚至展开的思路不应该超过30秒。如果无法做到这一点,很可能意味着考试的时候我们要花大量的时间来构思。而且事实证明,构思花的时间越长,找的理由质量可能越差。因为随着时间的流逝,在考场上我们会越来越紧张,本来就想不到理由,再紧张一下,基本上只能随便找理由了。随便找的东西很可能就是重复的理由或者理由会很难展开。要想解决这个问题,如果是自己独立备考的话,好多看一些范文、或者少多看一些不同题目的主题句,积累一些所谓的理由;同时,务必要注意范文中主题句的语言,看看有没有比较好的短语或者句式可以为我所用,当然是越通用越好。这样一旦将来确定了主题句,就可以利用这些现成的句式迅速的把他们转换成英语。
当然大家也可以按照话题把题目进行归类,去思考一下不同话题的题目长考哪些方向:比如教育类的无非就是老师、学生、家长、学校、这几个主题,常见的话题有:学生该学啥科目?学校该如何投资?老师工资咋发?该如何改善教育?以及家长教育孩子的方式等等;如果平时这些问题我们都想的比较明白,同时针对每个问题准备一些句式,考试的时候必然大大的提高作文的质量。
论证:跟结构类似,对于那些确定了理由不知道如何展开、或者展开过程逻辑性较差的同学来说,模仿是至关重要的。平时自己备考的时候,一定要加强范文的学习,不同的话题和题型都要看一些范文,争取能够在范文中吸收一些通用的思路和素材或者少能够记住其中的关键点和与之相对的英语表达。
语言:大家可能已经发现了,前两个问题如果解决了的话,这个问题自然也就搞定了。如果理由和素材都是模仿的范文的,语言怎么可能有问题呢?如何短期内减少语法错误、提高句子的多样性的时候,建议去背别人的比较好的东西。
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